Whether you are a single woman looking for your Mr. Right, a woman who is dating a man but isn’t in a committed relationship yet, or a woman who is presently in a relationship with a man and wants to make sure she can keep him forever, The Rules book by Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider may have captured your attention.
The name of the book is The Rules: Time-Tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right.
And you probably want to know whether these Rules still work for dating today.
This article will help you decide if the Rules Book is the right source for your needs!
The Strategies Of The Rules
The authors of the book openly admit on the first pages of the book, that the techniques suggested in the book are ones our grandmas used. It worked for them, so why wouldn’t it work for you?
Here is the caveat; the strategies our grandmas used were good a hundred years ago. That was when women stayed at home and when men worked and provided for the wife and the kids. Back then no woman would ever think she could sleep with a man before marriage, and that surely worked! Men had to marry women to have a partner, to have intimacy, and to have kids. Men were the providers, and women were the house wives.
Today, women no longer stay at home. Women are no longer barefoot and pregnant. We work, we make our own money, and our salaries sometimes are higher than of our men.
Remember, that in the old world, women were treated as second class citizens. It was not common for a woman to work at all, and thus in order to survive, a woman had to stay at home patiently waiting for her parents to do all the set up work for the marriage.
It was not acceptable for a woman to have a date with a man and to decide whom to choose to marry. The man would ask her father for her hand!
Of course, in order to get a man to marry, the woman had to do one thing – which was to passively wait for a man to ask for her hand in marriage, and for her father to make a decision.
The woman could not call a man, ask a man out, or even express her interest in a particular man. And frankly, those days women settled down with whomever their fathers choose for them.
Often, it was not ok to kiss a man, let alone sleep with a man before marriage. And most importantly, you must remember that when a man acquired a wife, it was like acquiring an asset, a servant, in other words free labor to care for the man, cook for him, clean his house, and raise his kids.
There are still places in the world that live by the same standards. In those places a woman doesn’t get to choose whom she marries, and the groom will sometimes have to give her father money and goods in order to acquire a wife and a mother for his future children.
But in the most of the civilized world, we now work, earn our living, and get to choose whom we want to be with and whom we want to marry. We no longer need a man to survive, and we are no longer treated as second class citizens.
We vote, we get promoted on the job, and we have the same rights as men do in all aspects of life.
It has become your job to say YES when a man asks you out. It is now your job to answer the phone when he calls. It is now your job to choose the man to marry.
No one else will do it for you!
So, the rules which worked for our grandmas, should we say obsolete?